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“Dude you need to get over her!”
He was talking about my year-long affair with Anita. Yes, affair! It was not a ‘relationship’ because neither of us knew we were in one! We didn’t even break up. It was Farhan a.k.a fatty a.k.a. my-best-friend-who-is-a-mutual-friend who told me that she was seeing other people.
“You really should get out more. The whole world is out there just for you. I’ve been in my share of relationships and I can tell you that a break-up is hard.”
Yeah right! The longest relationship you’ve ever had was for three days and it was with your toilet seat when you had diarrhoea. Big talk from nappy boy!
“Whew! Finally I got you to smile! You see, my man, this is exactly what friends are for.”
Yeah I’m so lucky to have you as my friend. Life would never have been the same if I didn’t have you coming to my place daily at three in the morning eating my food.
“Now go to sleep. You’ve got a big day ahead. I’ll lock the door on my way out, right after I finish this episode.” He said, digging into the Pringles can.
You’ve watched this episode a hundred times, you fat b*****d. If you want the chips, say that you want the chips. Stop beating around the bush.
“Okay, Okay, Fine! I’m going. By the way, why do I have a big day ahead of me tomorrow? I haven’t planned anything.”
“Oh my friend! That is the mystery of Farhan-The great! You’ll see.”
Oh great another day with you – just what I need. On any other normal day, I could’ve put up with all the crap he comes up with but I wasn’t in the perfect state of mind. But still for some unknown, unfathomable reason, I agreed.
“Okay Fine, but nothing stupid. Please. ”
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Next Morning
I woke up to the resonating sound of my alarm-clock. I searched around my pillow and my bed-side table where it usually is. Waking up pissed off was pretty common in the past few days. But for very different reasons.
“I’m gonna kill that… Oh! Wait here it is.”